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Sunday, 27 March 2011

Wedding Fever

First, let's clear something up, before I even begin:  I am not a Monarchist.  In fact, if anything, I'm actively anti-monarchy.

And yet... I have wedding fever!  Unless you live under a rock, you'll probably be aware that the big royal wedding is happening on the 29th April, and I am getting quite excited.  I do have a theory as to why, and the answer is threefold:

1) A day off.  Despite the SNP threatening not to give the holiday in Scotland, it does appear that it will actually be a holiday.  Being unemployed this doesn't really affect me, but that's not really the point.

2) A chance to gather round a TV with your amigos and watch something you'd never normally bother with, while drinking copious amount of G&T/Pimms/'Champagne' - this is the same reason people get excited about the Oscars and Wimbledon.  Most people don't really care about the outcome, but it's the social aspect that brings the joy.

3) TAT.  The wedding tat is everywhere - cups, mugs, coasters, baseball caps, plates, teapots, shoes, posters... dodgy pics of Kate and Wills are girning down from every second Amazon page, and the quality of crap tat is really very impressive.

To this end, I'm going to be watching the Big Day with MM, RJ, KH and anyone else who wants to come along, strap on a Poundland tiara and drink cocktails out of their (Un)Official Wedding Mug.  KH just had the genius idea of making G&Ts in a tea-pot and drinking them out our mugs.  She has also promised to whip her arts & crafts gene into top gear and make bunting (!) for us to hang around our royal watch parlour.

In light of all this, I've just decided to showcase some of my favourite pieces of royal wedding paraphernalia - get yours now!

1)  "Prince William and Kate Middleton engagement satire coaster" by The Coaster Company; can be found here on Amazon.

Harry trumps William, and no denying it.

2)   I love this mousepad, which I can't get a pic of, so you'll have to have a look here.  Zazzle seem to have gone for a comically unflattering photo in which Wills appears to have a serious over-bite and Kate has a slight gammy eye.  Talk about novelty value!

3)   In the style of the tack-fest London postcards of the (life-size) Queen's face, next up we have these creepy but entertaining Wills 'n' Kate masks (right).  If you're gathering in a group to watch it you could get the whole set down Camden way and have the Queen, Prince Phillip, Prince Charles and Camilla, too.  You might have to draw straws for who gets stuck wearing Phillip, to be fair.  You might also have to draw straws for whoever gets sitting next to 'Phillip' in case you get an unceremonious grope of the bum halfway through the ceremony.

4)   Should you choose to have any kind of cupcake/cocktail sausage/pineapple hedgehog on the go, you can avail yourself of these rather nifty 'patriotic' cocktail sticks.  These could also be used to ward off any unwelcome advances from the person infused with the spirit of Prince Phillip if you're wearing the masks.

5)   Last but not least, where would we be without the ubiquitous mug and saucer combo.  I've done a fair bit of research on this one, fair reader, and after trawling through hundreds of pictures of mugs, this is my favourite so far, for the sheer ugliness of the mug itself, even before the dodgy pics were added!

So there you have it: all you need for your very own Royal Wedding Celebration.  Go forth and buy tat...and then sell it on for a profit to Americans on eBay after it's all over.


  1. I am glad you are in the spirit, tis also my birthday celebrations so mai and I planning a proper day of it to celebrate- twill be muchos fun :) xx

  2. Awesome! Well, if it's your birthday then I think it's only right that you get to wear the tiara, and we'll be your ladies-with-gin-a'waiting!!